Today is the Tomorrow u worried about Yesterday

It doesn't matter if others think your wrong. 

It doesn't matter if you are alone. 

Fight for what you believe.

If to you the sky is green, green it should be.

If to you the moon is made out of cheese, cheese it is.

Fear is for the weak.

To believe is for the strong.

So, back off you bitches.

Because here I come!

Is it worth playing w/ fire when you have everything to lose? What if what you have to gain seems dearest to you? What if you end up alone? ignored? devastated? But then again u tell yourself this is your only chance. This is the only life you'll get to live, why not live it to the fullest? Why sacrifice yourself for others who have betrayed you? Why live w/ the pain that slowly chokes and suffocates you? The what ifs will haunt you for life. Will you be able to deal with that? I don't want to guess, I want to know. I want to live it, I want to feel it. Even if at the end it's not what I really wanted, I'll have memories to hold on to. Am I being selfish? Life wouldn't be so complicated with these freaking dilemas. The only thing left to say is: It's never too late to do what you want to do, only death can stop you.  But, do you have the guts?

 Summer's gone, but I had a blast.  Went swimming, boating and jet skiin' every single weekend 'till the moonlight signaled us it was time to leave.  So I'm as black as a lil' nigga' (don't get offense - I'm a 1/4 black and that what my brother calls me, his lil' nigga).   Ate so many bar-b-q meat the mere word makes me want to puke.  S'mores?  Now I can't never have enough of those!  I'm a chocoholic, hahaha. 

At the lake I got the opportunity to help someone's life.  The dumb bastard was jet skiing drunk and broke his foot in the middle of the lake.  He kept waving and yelling and the only one who heard him was me.  I sent my bro to check out what was up.  My bro returned for me so that I could drive the dude's sea doo back to shore.  His leg looked gross!  It bent backwards like rubber.

I also did a lil' bit of work.  We painted the outside of the house.  At first it seemed like fun but 1/4 of the way, i was cussing myself for agreeing to it and thinking it would be fun.  Oh, well it got done and it looks nice.  *shrugs*

My two kittens are not as lil' anymore and have become lil' whores! lol.  They cry everysingle nite by the door wanting out and will not return untill dusk.  shame, shame, shame.

Okay, enough of my summer.  Time to get back to reality.  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Tomorrow is my last day in this place.  Can't wait to get out.  I will not be checking in on buzznet, as my summers are always busy, loaded w/ fun that is!  So I wish all of u reading this a happy summer.  Stay safe and beautiful and don't forget to ROCK ON!! = P

xoxo >o

 

No, not me.  It's my poor kitty.  She stays at home all day and during the nite she wants to sleep w/ me in bed, but I won't let her 'cause all she wants to do is play and bite...she bites hard! So I get her out of my room and shut the door.  Well, she started to loose her fur right above her eyes.  The vet diagnosed it as separation anxiety.   Imagine that, a cat w/ anxiety.  So this weekend my brother is bringing me another kitty to keep shadow company.  She's gonna be so excited! Can't wait to introduce them both.

Wish her (and me) luck!

xoxo

This past weekend I visited my siblings.  We went four wheeling at my brother in law's boss home (he owns a huge land where we went crazy w/ the four wheelers).  The neighbor's kid was riding his own four wheeler down the street and approach us to ask us if we were interested in taking puppies home.  My brother in law had talked to the kid's dad in a couple of ocassions, but didn't really know the man that well.  Anyhow, the guys decided to go over to the kids home and check out the puppies.  Us ladies were left with the kids and the four wheelers.  About fifteen minutes passed and the guys weren't coming back.  We sent my sister in law to fetch the guys and she came back reporting that they were playing pool.  Oh, man, we screamed to high heaven.  We sent her back to get them so they could help us load the four wheelers so that we could come over to the house and enjoy the fun too.

My sister in law was half way when we saw a couple of the guys turning the corner.  They were very exited cause the boy's dad started the bar b-q pit.  "He is so excited of having company, he started cooking burgers and has asked us to stay"  my brother was saying. 

"What!? We don't even know those people." My sister complained. 

"I do" her husband replied

"No, u don't. Just cause u have talked to him a couple of times don't mean u know him!" she corrected him.

All the same, we all ended at this people's house.  Where some of us played pool and hung around 'till the bar b q was ready.  We didn't see much of the owners of the home 'cause they were so busy cooking.  We offered to help, but they refused our help.  They kept telling us to make ourselves comfortable. "Mi casa es su casa" (my home is your home) the man kept repeating.

It was after we sat down to eat that we got to have a decent conversation w/ these couple.  Very down to earth people who like to serve others.  Never doubet us or felt suspicious about us.  I would have to add that their trust seemed a bit exagerated to me. 

At the end of the nite, we all came to be better acquainted and were invited to come over once more.  I have to admit I was a bit in shock to know there are still good, selfish people out there.  Sad, isn't it?

A few miles away from town, I could she the rainbow above us.  As we neared town, the rainbow seemed closer...and closer...and closer, until I realized the end of the rainbow was on the bridge we were about to cross.  As we neared the spot where I've seen the rainbow end...

...nothing happened! hahaha.  It was like driving in normal sprinkled rain.  And guess what? No pot of gold either!  Now, that was a real dissapointment. = (

xoxo

The week of spring break was awesome.  We had a small baseball game, grilled burgers at the lake, made smores, fished (btw I was the only one to catch  a little perch.  Yay me!) and rode four wheelers (which isn't allowed, but we took our chances and are glad we did!).  We also played tennis and just acted plain silly.

Hope everyone else had a great spring break like I did. xoxo

2:30 a.m. and wide awake. Staring at the ceiling. Demons in my head.  Crying for no reason. Feeling physically and mentally ill.  I roll to one side and my mind takes away.  Who will miss me if I were to die today?  Feeling so lonely, so forgotten, so ignored.  On my back once more.  Tears blur the fan.  I find myself on a desk writing a farewell.  To her, how proud I am of her achievements so far, but please learn to share there will always be more.  To him, my precious one, how fun and loving u r, always go to school so u can become someone.  Don't follow his foot steps of self destruction.  Be responsible and respectful and u shall obtain many things.  To u, please forgive me I have no strenght to move on. 

Was it a dream? Was it real? Was I in a trance?  I might never know.  But today I shall not worry for a great coward I am.  Never, ever will I have the courage to end it all. And my journey shall continue for better of for worse.  Paint rainbows on the wall or live in remorse. 

 

Whomever said all old ladies are sweet need to get a job at a nursing home.  I worked at a nursing home one summer as a dietary aide (okay, doing dishes).  One of my duties was to set the tables up for breakfast and lunch, I had to cover the tables, place napkins, silverware and a glass of water for every resident, and after they were through w/ their meals I had to go out there and clear up the tables.  The same residents were pretty much forgotten every day a few extra minutes, so I would just clear the table around them.  On one particular afternoon, I spilled a glass of water wich splash the old lady across from me, she gave me the meanest look I've ever seen in my life and said, "you bitch!" as she wiped the few droplets from her pj's.  She caught me so off guard that all I could do was smile.

Old ladies = sweetness...nope, not all the time. = )

Megatron was a huge ice robot defeated by being melted and left in a puddle of mud.  A winter front passed and Megatron hardened and assume his gigantic robotic shape only this time he was made out of sugar.  The sun started to shine and temperatures rose rapidly making Megatron sticky.  He stuck to the ground and a little girl grabbed a latter and a fan and started melting Megatron from head to toe (don't ask me how u melt someone w/ a fan...that's how the dream went).  For some reason everyone started running 'cause Megatron was about to explode.  I climbed on a motobot and raced out of the place as fast as it could take me when suddenly the motobot started screaming and covering its face.  The sun was causing it to melt.  He melted to the ground and I was left there standing.  I turned around to see why Megatron hadn't blown up yet and just saw the little girl pickin up the sugar in a pan.  I walked over to her and told her that it was probably best to disperse the sugar that way the molecules wouldn't come together and reactivate Megatron making him come to life (not sure that made sense *shrugs*).  The lil' girl replied: "why waste the sugar? we can use it to bake cookies and cakes"  and I yelled "Nooooo! people who eat the baked goods containing that sugar might become evil!"

And then I woke up...time to get ready for the day! = )

I personally wouldn't've  eaten a Megatron cookie, it might've tasted like metal and oil. Yuck!

 

A mother and her four year old walk to the buffet line, plate in hand.  An oversized woman walks past the boy, who looks at her from head to toe and back again and exclaims loudly, "whoa, big mama!"  The embarassed mother gently taps him on the mouth and tells him to be quiet.  "Well, she's fat!" the annoyed boy replies loudly once more.  The mortified mother doesn't know where to hide her face and drags the little boy to their table.

 

There's a Spanish saying that goes something like "Drunks and children always tell the turth."

No kidding!!

This is the first time the dad takes his boy to pre-k.  He has picked him up a few times before so his wife tells him to drop him off where he usually picks him up.  As father and son walked down the hall toward the cafeteria the boy gets alarmed and tells his father, "dad, this is the wrong way" and they boy proceeds to lead his father to another door, which led outside the school building.  With tearful eyes the little boy tells his dad he does not want to go to school.  As the man enters his house the little boy follows behind.  "What the heck happened?" asked the worried mother.  With a huge grin the boy tells his mother "didn't want to go to school".  Do I have to mention the look the wife gave her husband?...didn't think so.

 

101 fever, 102, 103...the numbers kept escalating and nothing would bring them down. Not the medicine, nor the cold rags on the forehead and stomach.  Fever burning a fragil body, a feeling of despair.  The following day the fever is gone, but now the vomits take over, and over, and over untill there is nothing else to throw up.  To hear the words "I think my heart is broken" from a fragil child breaks one's heart.  The following day all is well.  Death's black mantle lifts and floats away.

Some times things are not what they seem to be.  So before u jump the gun and judge people w/o knowing them, think 'bout this:

The jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

The pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

The scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares .

The old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together .

...And that's all I'm gonna say 'bout that!

Last nite we found a surprise in the upstairs restroom...a stiff squirrel was inside the toilet wich btw has been out of service for a while.  It is unknown for how long the little critter had been dead, but it seemed like it was for a few days 'cause it already had maggots!  Disgusting!!  I now regret I didn't take a picture to show, but to tell the truth I can't stomach dead animals.  Just the thought of it make me want to puke! yuck!!